I am known as the Snapchat Queen. I know exactly how to get people to notice you. I know the exact amount of time to wait between sending something and posting something on your story in correlation with how soon the person you are interested in responds. Am I manipulating people? Or is what I am doing just giving the correct cues? Is what I create, this 'intrigue' if you will, real or is it a fabrication of technological implications? Is this the world we live in now? 

I don't know.

We took a day trip to Cincinnati. 

I drove. 

We had to double back to get his anti-depressants. 

I had to pick him up later than planned because he was still so high. 

We were going to the Newport Aquarium. 

The fish were going to be pretty. 

He yelled at me about my driving. 

I was quiet. 

He apologized and then yelled some more. 

I didn't know where to go. 

He did.

 He showed me. 

Guided me. 

I let him. 

The fish were pretty. 

He was bored. 

He wouldn't let me take pictures. 

I love pictures. 

He went from exhibit to exhibit the way I imagine he does with women.

 Quickly and without much interest. 

We got to pet sharks. 

He was like a child, so excited. 

In that moment I loved him. 

Then we left. 

He complained about the cost. 

He took my keys. 

He wanted to drive. 

I said okay. 

We stopped. 

I reached over to move the wheel to get us off the road. 

He hit me. 

I was silent. 

He apologized and then hit me some more.

I snuck a picture.

College is weird. You find out so much about yourself, but at the same time you find out nothing at all. For example, I've found out that I am capable of spending the entirety of my bank account on pizza during my first semester here! I have also figured out how to effectively layer my clothing to protect against the blustery Ohio winter. On the flip side of these things-I have not yet found out how to have the relationships I want to have with people. I just don't understand. How does one make friendships that "last a lifetime", like they so adamantly told us we would, during move-in weekend? I am trying. Maybe I am just not trying hard enough. It's hard when there is no amount of heavy layering that can be done to protect yourself from people's blustery and cold personality traits. Although, I have learned that you can, in fact, pay for friends. Can anyone say Greek Life? Now, I'm not bashing it because, believe it or not, I'm becoming a part of it soon. But, we all know that it is just a game of status and wealth-much like life really. 

Wish me luck!