tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62826469982670902672024-02-20T07:27:28.274-08:00Who I'd Like to BeA Cathartic Collection of My StoriesFoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-65321521408803723002016-02-03T12:04:00.000-08:002016-02-03T12:04:00.470-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don't </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">ever </span><span style="font-size: large;">feel bad for making</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">a decision about </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">your own</span><span style="font-size: large;"> life </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">that </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">upsets</span><span style="font-size: large;"> other people. You </span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">are </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">not</span><span style="font-size: large;"> responsible for </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">their</span><span style="font-size: large;"> happiness. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You're responsible </span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">for </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">your own</span><span style="font-size: large;"> happiness. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Anyone who </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">wants you</span><span style="font-size: large;"> to live</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">in </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">misery</span><span style="font-size: large;"> for their happiness </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">should </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">not be</span><span style="font-size: large;"> in your life to </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">begin </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">with</span><span style="font-size: large;">.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">-A thing from Facebook that made sense-</span></div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-9196152039537516392016-02-03T11:44:00.001-08:002016-02-03T11:44:48.442-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><u>I am known as</u></b></span> the Snapchat Queen. I know <i>exactly</i> how to get people to notice you. I know the <i>exact </i>amount of time to wait between sending something and posting something on your story in correlation with how soon the person you are interested in responds. Am I manipulating people? Or is what I am doing just giving the correct cues? Is what I create, this 'intrigue' if you will, real or is it a fabrication of technological implications? Is this the world we live in now? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;">I don't know.</span></div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-41940121016310408262016-02-02T20:55:00.002-08:002016-02-02T20:58:18.767-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
We took a day trip to Cincinnati. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I drove. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We had to double back to get his anti-depressants. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I had to pick him up later than planned because he was still so high. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We were going to the Newport Aquarium. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The fish were going to be pretty. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He yelled at me about my driving. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was quiet. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He apologized and then yelled some more. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't know where to go. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He did.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He showed me. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Guided me. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I let him. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The fish were pretty. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He was bored. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He wouldn't let me take pictures. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I love pictures. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He went from exhibit to exhibit the way I imagine he does with women.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Quickly and without much interest. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We got to pet sharks. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He was like a child, so excited. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In that moment I loved him. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then we left. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He complained about the cost. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He took my keys. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He wanted to drive. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I said okay. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We stopped. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I reached over to move the wheel to get us off the road. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He hit me. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was silent. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He apologized and then hit me some more.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FEiEi_wwI6rSSW2u8iEfKOKFpWWvQIpQLasd7Bayk_tUOKimpAd0MkPBxFf1iargm4qP7T_GvPTOYCSWfmAVW7vULpJZwT3GOSI-fFGUZIixDxCRr9HxH4yXVvQSR1LCZSsE5XWpCFYt/s1600/FullSizeRender+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FEiEi_wwI6rSSW2u8iEfKOKFpWWvQIpQLasd7Bayk_tUOKimpAd0MkPBxFf1iargm4qP7T_GvPTOYCSWfmAVW7vULpJZwT3GOSI-fFGUZIixDxCRr9HxH4yXVvQSR1LCZSsE5XWpCFYt/s200/FullSizeRender+6.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I snuck a picture.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-47836346989085752372016-02-02T20:44:00.000-08:002016-02-02T20:46:14.498-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Passive.
God-Damn Passive, if you will. That is what I was called by my first
"boyfriend". He had a lot of other "<i>charming"</i><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>phrases to go along with this one, but
this one was one of the ones that really stuck. What does "Passive"
mean? According to Merriam Webster it is<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 18.0pt;">"</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt;">used to describe </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt;">someone who allows things to happen or who accepts what </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt;">other people do or decide without trying to change
anything"</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">But, in the way that he used it? I have no clue. The three
months I was with him were the best I ever had and also the worst I ever had-I
just didn't realize the latter until later on. Hindsight is 20/20, and it's a
bitch. I thought about breaking up with him every single day. But then, every
day I would wake up every day to 4-page long text that he had sent me in the
middle of the night, (probably while in a drug-induced haze) declaring his love
for me- and I was smitten, yet again. When I met him I was pure, innocent and
naive. That didn't even last two weeks. By the time he was through, I was
impure, dirty and used. Of course, he didn't see anything wrong with
this, because it<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>all
benefitted him.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></i>And that is
where my definition of Passive comes in. Passive to me means that</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 24.0pt;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 24.0pt;">I </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 24.0pt;">DIDN'T FUCKING STAND UP FOR MYSELF.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "sans-serif","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">If I had. If I had just taken a stand, said a single word. My
story would be very different.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-54581433024967913122016-02-02T20:22:00.004-08:002016-02-02T20:24:20.178-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><u><b>I don't blame</b></u></span> my parents for how I am. Well, maybe a little. I can't help it, okay? The constant back and forth bickering and the pushing and pulling my brother, Noah, and I back and forth, to and fro, is bound to leave its mark eventually isn't it? I know that my Mom and Dad tried their best to keep it together and keep the arguing to a minimum for my brother and I, and I know I was much better off than some kids in a similar situation, but it still hurt. It hurts when my Grandmother applauds my parents for the "excellent way they raised me and Noah". It hurts to know that she does not see the emotional baggage that we are both struggling to carry. It hurts to know that we must carry this baggage on our own. We don't talk about it. Noah has always been the silent type-he just stares at you with his big eyes and waits for you to say something, anything that would let him out of the situation. He doesn't want to discuss anything that could be potentially painful-That goes for my whole family actually. We will all passive aggressively skirt around an argument for weeks, months, even years, until one day one of us can't take it anymore. We let it all out-and it gets ugly.</div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-9279022546758548962016-02-02T20:09:00.000-08:002016-02-02T20:09:32.381-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><u>I wonder</u></span> how the Greeks would feel about us using their letters as an excuse to party...</div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-57835825963286132372016-02-02T20:07:00.000-08:002016-02-02T20:07:49.399-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><u>College is weird. </u></b></span>You find out so much about yourself, but at the same time you find out nothing at all. For example, I've found out that I am capable of spending the entirety of my bank account on pizza during my first semester here! I have also figured out how to effectively layer my clothing to protect against the blustery Ohio winter. On the flip side of these things-I have not yet found out how to have the relationships I want to have with people. I just don't understand. How does one make friendships that "last a lifetime", like they so adamantly told us we would, during move-in weekend? I am trying. Maybe I am just not trying hard enough. It's hard when there is no amount of heavy layering that can be done to protect yourself from people's blustery and cold personality traits. Although, I have learned that you can, in fact, pay for friends. Can anyone say Greek Life? Now, I'm not bashing it because, believe it or not, I'm becoming a part of it soon. But, we all know that it is just a game of status and wealth-much like life really. </div>
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Wish me luck!</div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6282646998267090267.post-10029637271949918612016-02-02T19:57:00.005-08:002016-02-03T11:56:05.911-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Who I would like to<span style="font-size: x-large;"> be</span> is not someone that I <span style="font-size: x-large;">am</span>.</b></div>
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<b>The <span style="font-size: x-large;">me</span> that I would like to<span style="font-size: x-large;"> be</span> is simply not ready to be <span style="font-size: x-large;">me</span>. </b></div>
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<b>I understand and I <span style="font-size: x-large;">wish</span> to let it take its time, but sometimes the <span style="font-size: x-large;">wait </span>seems long.</b></div>
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<b>And it seems I will <span style="font-size: x-large;">never</span> find the me that I need to <span style="font-size: x-large;">be</span>.</b></div>
FoundGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796721501257215500noreply@blogger.com0